Well, hello there!! Ok.. lets get it over with really quick. I know, I said I would be back in November and it’s January…. what can I say except, apologies I’m late! A combination of reflecting, reprioritizing, focusing, sprinkled in with some procrastination. I’m here now, and soooo ready to be back to blogging.
So, you’ve noticed I changed my blogging site name and look by now… a part of that reflection and focus I was mentioning. While I stand by every single word I wrote in a short 6 months as #chickboss, I learned it came from a place in my heart and in my mind that I no longer want to be…and that honestly, I no longer am. Most of you reading this know my ‘story’ (for lack of a better title)! Whether you know bits and pieces from what you’ve ‘heard’, or what you’ve heard directly from me. So here is to owning it: #chickboss was fueled from a place of mourning that I masked with strength and turned into passion; and despite my efforts still ended up being negative energy for me. I want to repeat, that every single thing I wrote about I still stand by; it is still relevant and genuine, all still topics that get me fired up. I will still write about business and sales strategies, leadership fundementals and transformations etc… because I still love those things! The difference is they will be fueled by a place of enjoyment and real life… and whatever I feel passionate enough to write about in that moment.
For me to move forward and grow, inside and outside this blog. I need to tell the story of getting to this point. I’ll try to summarize.
Rewind to 6 years ago (summer 2013), after finally deciding we were ready to have a family we found out I would not be able to the conventional way. Without getting into the details of that (at least right now), my attitude towards the situation was basically “Whatever, it’s fine! We don’t need to spend the money and instead I’ll just be an executive by the time I’m 35.. we’ll enjoy our life together and travel and do all the things… and be dog parents! It’s totally fine!” Pause to say I have the most loving and supportive husband, EVER and I’m very lucky. Love you, babe.
Being an executive by the time I was 35 (I was 28 then) became my number 1 priority, and for the next 5 years nothing was as important. Luckily, I had just landed a job with a growing awesome company where I felt like I could achieve just that if I worked hard! So that’s what I worked towards and each year that went by, I sacrificed, mis-prioritized, and took for granted more and more: My marriage, family, friends, health, well being, hobbies, faith… all of it took a back seat. Now fast forward to the summer of 2017, well on my way to that goal with the same company now in an extremely high stress position, and after 4 years of loyalty and hard work my career there had really taken off. I was promoted not only in title and responsibility… but I had been given a large underperforming team with extremely poor morale and engagement. I’ll never forget when my promotion was announced and the standing applause I got from the entire room. Not only was it a proud moment, but in that moment all my sacrifices felt justified. I had insane goals (so did they), fires to put out, people to motivate, people to fire & hire, problems to solve, accountability to drive, teams to reengage and bridges to build. It’s called a turn around situation, and I had been ‘trusted’ to turn it around. Although I had held people management, leadership and high visibility positions for several years this was the largest team and greatest responsibility I had up to this point, and the entire thing was an absolute mess. I was scared, a little of failure (I’m only human), but more importantly that this large group of people that I really cared about, was counting on me and I did not want to let them down. Many supported me, a few did not, some pretended they did. Regardless I was 200% committed to them as individuals, and as a team, and the company – pouring my soul, sweat and tears into it.
It had been the hardest, most trying time in my professional career for MANY reasons – but 9 months in to this promotion, I could really start to see the payoff of all the sweat and tears. I was successfully turning the team around, had rebuilt trust and confidence (them in me, and me in them), numbers were up, they were making money, I was making a ton of money, getting better and better each month, all of it really started to thrive. Last May was when I could really see and feel a change in them, in me, and was really steadfast focused on the company strategy… I mean I was so pumped, all in learning and teaching.. rallying and ready to help push the group through to the next level – and I was really embracing it all. I was on a cloud and at this point the sacrifice and payoff was undeniable, so it seemed. Then one June morning, I went to the office like any other day and it was all taken away. Poof, just like that… gone. Literally it felt like someone took a baseball bat to my stomach. Without getting into the details, for me personally it all happened in the worst possible way… I mean in the worst possible scenario, gut wrenching, way. Like kicking someone while they’re already down, is one thing… they expect it to a degree. But tripping someone that’s all sweaty, running towards the finish line is a completely different story.
When I look back and reflect on this now I can see the change from me putting 120% to 200% into my career began with trying to fulfill a very big void of something I said I didn’t need 6 years ago. WOW, there it is.. I said it. Of course, that’s just where it started… but it’s really important for me to own that. I’m sure some of you may be reading this and thinking… IT’S JUST A JOB.. you’re crazy, why’d you do that to yourself!! Which is totally fair, but you have to understand because of that void, where it started, and what I allowed it to turn into, I literally had my heart and soul into it; so it was so much more to me than just a job.
For the last several months you’ve probably heard me say once or twice it was the BEST thing that ever happened to me. Truth serum, it wasn’t until about 3 months ago that I actually believed that. I’ll explain and tell you about the last 8 months another day. It’s true that the great things can come after the worst possible thing. Perspective can be an amazing thing if you let it.
Hustle Up, Hun is intended just as it’s read, and it’s a note to myself. That when I hustle up I am capable of doing anything I put my mind to, I’m stronger than I realize and a reminder that I’ve proven this to myself time and time again. #chickboss wasn’t born when I started this blog, she was born 6 years ago… and it’s time to officially retire her.